Regrets
by Kakarika Seiya
Summary: You're right, it's not my fault! This is all your fault Saphir! Everything is your fault!" Anger can lead to disaster. Slight AU past of the Keterburg group.


Alright, Tales of Abyss muses have been kicking my ass lately. Namely a certain Necromancer. This story is different from my usual ones, rather depressing if you ask me. But Jade insists on me doing this, so here goes.

Jade: ...

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Peony sighed as he made his way down an empty hallway, running a hand through his hair. It had been six days since the failed replica incident and he was starting to seriously worry about his dear friend. He paused for just a second to glance at a lavender painted door. Another sigh was given as he continued on his way, that room had been empty for almost a week now. A little farther down the hall Peony stopped at a plain white door. He hadn't seen Jade the past week and he had begun worrying if his friend was still even alive after all he'd gone through lately. Reaching a hand out cautiously, he never knew what to expect when entering Jade's room, he opened the door. What met his eyes was an empty room with no trace of anyone being in there recently. With a frown Peony tilted his head in confusion before his eyes widened slightly. Shutting the door once more, he made his way back to the lavender door, Saphir's old room, and threw it open. The sight that greeted him was a brunette curled up on the bed, his back to the door. With concerned look, Peony crossed the plush pink carpet to sit on the bed next to the oddly still male.

"Jade... what are you doing in here? Are you okay?"

Helpless crimson eyes glanced up at the blond, a slightly broken voice replying. "I'm waiting."

Peony frowned, hoping he was wrong. "Waiting for what?"

Jade rolled on his back to look up at his friend, his expression unreadable. "I'm waiting for Saphir to come back."

Peony's eyes downcasted, he had been right. "Jade... I don't think he's coming back..."

Jade's eyes slipped shut. "But Saphir always comes back... He never leaves my side... Whenever he gets mad at me, he only stalks off for a little while... He always comes back..."

Peony sighed sadly as he rested his head in his hands. "Yeah, that's the usual case. But it's been almost an entire week since he left..." He hesitated, clenching his eyes shut. "You really hurt him this time... Your words were too harsh for him..."

Blood red eyes stared up at Peony, a single tear sliding down the otherwise composed features. "He's really never coming back to me, is he?"

The young emperor nodded slowly, unable to look at his friend. "Yeah... I'm afraid so..."

Jade rolled over so that his back was once again facing the other. "First I kill the professor and then I crush the only human being alive that truly understands me... I'm the real monster..."

"Jade..." The other had no idea how to respond, he'd never seen his friend like this.

The brunette curled slightly, his arms wrapped around his torso. "Please, leave me be. I want to be alone right now, Peony."

With a heavy heart the blond stood and made his way back to the door. He glanced over his shoulder one last time, hoping that he could come up with something, anything, to console his friend. Bowing his head, he realized that Jade really was the one at fault, there was nothing to say otherwise. Turning towards the hall, he quietly shut the door to leave the other to his thoughts.

At the sound of the door clicking shut crimson eyes welled up with tears, his voice cracking slightly as he muttered out loud to himself. "I never should have blamed him... All those things I said... I should have thought everything through, never should have acted so carelessly... It was my fault, not his... Saphir... I'm so sorry... I know how fragile you are... How much every last word I say means to you... I never meant to hurt you like that..."

----Saphir's room, two weeks earlier----

Laying in his bed while holding the covers against his chin, Saphir's eyes teared up as he stared up at Nebilim in horror. "You can't be serious! I can't be sick! People get all icky and gross when they're sick!!"

The elder woman sighed at her student's overreaction. "It's just the flu. It's not going to kill you, Saphir. At most, it should only last a day or two."

Violet eyes turned to an amused brunette and blond leaning against the wall near the door. "Ja~de!!! Tell me it's not true! Tell the professor that she's wrong! Someone like me can't possibly be sick!"

Jade held back a chuckle while Peony was leaning on the other's shoulder, attempting to stifle his laughs. The brunette simply smiled innocently as he replied. "Oh, I'm sure she's mistaken."

Saphir's eyes lit up only for a second as Jade adjusted his glasses.

"A sickness like this will probably last at least a few weeks, not a few days."

A mortified look crossed the silver haired boy's face. "N-no..."

Nebilim sighed, massaging her forehead with a small smile. "Jade, please don't tease Saphir when he's so distressed."

The smartass in question simply smiled sweetly at his professor. "Why, I don't know what you're talking about. My greatest concern is his well-being, of course. Now, why would I ever want to upset him?"

Peony snickered against Jade's shoulder with a muttered, "Because you're an asshole who likes watching other's suffering..."

The comment ultimately got the blond an elbow to the ribs by a still smiling brunette.

Nebilim smiled as well. "Well in that case, Jade Balfour, I leave Saphir in your hands. You are to do nothing but watch him until he gets better. You're not to leave his room until I say so. I'll have someone bring you your food. Let's go Peony."

Slipping her hands into her lab coat pockets she casually walked out of the room, the snickering young blond following her.

Jade's eye twitched slightly as he heard the lock click behind them. With an exasperated look, he glanced over to the slightly confused sick boy on the bed.

"So..." A smile slowly spread onto his Saphir's face. "You have to stay with me constantly? You'll make sure I get healthy, right Jade?"

Jade simply smiled once again as he turned to fully face his friend. "Well of course. Though in the event that this sickness kills you, I'll just have a convenient corpse to work on, now won't I? Either way works for me."

Light purple eyes welled up with tears again. "Ja~de!!! But you love me~! You wouldn't really let me die, would you? Don't do that to me~! Ja~de!"

A sigh passed Jade's lips as he brought a hand to his forehead. As cute as the whining was most of the time, it could be a tad bit annoying. Glancing towards the door for a moment Jade made sure he could hear Peony wrecking havoc a ways down the hall before moving over to sit next to the near crying boy on the bed. With a warmer smile than his usual one he lifted a hand to pet Saphir's hair. "No, I won't let you die. I love you too much for that. I'll take care of you and I'm sure this will go away quickly. I'm sorry for teasing you, Saphir."

The boy's face lit up once again as he tackle glomped the brunette, sending them sprawling on his bed. With a happy sound, he nuzzled against Jade's chest. "Thank you! I love you so much! I knew I could count on you, Jade!"

Another soft sigh was let out as Jade adjusted himself to a more comfortable position with the silver haired male. "Saphir, sometimes you're just too cute for your own good. Though I'll warn you, you get me sick and there will be hell to pay."

Saphir smiled cutely as he nestled himself in Jade's arms, nuzzling against the crook of his neck. "Don't worry, I'll be careful."

---A couple days later---

Peony sat backwards on a chair and munched on some chips as he watched Jade pace back and forth. "You know, Nebilim will be annoyed if you make a mark on the living room carpet. I'm sure he's fine."

Jade simply shot the blond a dirty look before continuing his trek.

Both boys looked towards the hallway door as Nebilim walked out, an exhausted look on her face. "Saphir seems to be stable now. I used a lot of my power to heal him, and I managed to get him through the worst of it, but there's only so much I can do by myself. This isn't a normal sickness. I'm not quite sure how he got it, but the rest is up to his body."

The two boys stayed silent with their eyes downcasted as the professor sat on the couch. "Now we can only pray to Lorelei that he gets better on his own."

Peony folded his arms on the back of his chair, the bag of chips laying forgotten on the ground. "But Saphir's never been that strong..."

Crimson eyes narrowed as Jade stormed off down the hallway and straight into Saphir's room. Hands in his lab coat pockets, he stared quietly down at the sleeping male. His eyes traveled over the paler than normal skin, watching the labored breathing of the other. With a fixed look, he stalked off, muttering to himself. "Professor can't do it on her own, but another seventh fonist might be able to. All I have to do is control the seventh fonon and I'll be able to heal Saphir..."

The next morning found Peony talking to an almost completely healed Saphir when they heard an explosion from the other side of the mansion...

---Six days earlier, right after the failed replica---

Peony stared at the scene in front of him with a growing dread. Jade was shaking violently, kneeling on the floor with his arms wrapped around himself. "Dammit...Professor...I failed you..."

Shaking a bit himself, Saphir reached a hesitant hand out to rest on the brunette's shoulder. "Jade... None of this is your fault... We can try again... We-"

Jade smacked away the other male's hand as he stood, his red eyes glaring, filled with unshed tears. "You right, it's not my fault! This is all your fault Saphir! Everything is your fault!"

Violet eyes widened as Saphir recoiled as if he had been struck. "M-my fault?"

Anger and distraught filled Jade's eyes as he continued his screaming, acting only on his mixed up emotions. "Yes! It's your fault the professor died in the first place! If you hadn't of been sick, I never would have attempted to use that damned seventh fonon! I never would have struck the professor down! It's entirely your fault, Saphir! If you weren't here, this wouldn't have happened! I wish I had never met you!"

Crimson, violet, and blue eyes widened at once as all three males registered what was said. Jade stepped forward slowly as he came to his senses. "Saphir... I..."

The silver haired boy wrapped his arms around himself as he backed away, angry violet eyes glaring at the brunette as tears streamed down his face. "Jade... They say that you let out your true emotions when your the most worked up... If that's true... Jade..." Saphir clenched his eyes shut as he continued to back away. "I'll bring back the professor myself! I HATE YOU, JADE!" Turning on his heel, Saphir ran out the front door and down the snow covered street before either male had time to react.

"Jade!" Peony ran over to Jade's side as the other sank to his knees. "Jade! Please, get a hold of yourself! Jade!" The young blond grabbed Jade by the shoulders and shook him lightly, attempting to snap him out of the state of shock he had fallen into.

---Present day---

A hand rose to brush away unshed tears. With a heavy sigh, Jade pushed himself off of the fluffy bed, brushing a few sparkles of glitter off of his coat. He stared at the shinning flecks on his hand with a bitter smile before walking over to the door. "I've been a fool, waiting here. You won't come back to me this time. I've lost you forever..." He paused against the door frame, taking one last look into the brightly colored room. "Saphir, I'm so sorry." Steeling his features, the young necromancer shut the lavender door, shutting the door to his only heart. "It's time for me to move on with my life."

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Jade: What she means to say is, please review. We'd like to know what you felt about this.


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